Muslim Dating Rules
A simple guide to Muslim dating rules.
| March 04, 2021
There are a lot of rules that traditional Muslim men and women must follow if they want to stay completely true to their beliefs. In western culture, many Muslims have moved past some of the more intense ideas of relationships. For example, arranged marriages are very common in Islamic culture.
Before we start talking about Muslim dating practices, it's important for you to be aware that there are always variations to these rules. Meaning that just because a person believes in Allah, doesn't mean that they will follow all of these rules throughout their lives. Nowadays, many Muslim men and women have chosen to change their dating methods to be easier and fit better with modern dating culture.
Adjusting these rules does not make anyone more or less Muslim. Chances are that if someone is a Muslim, they take their religion seriously no matter how strictly they choose to follow it. So, it's important to always be respectful of their religion and the choices that they have made regarding their own dating lives.
What are some Muslim dating rules?
1. Chaperones
One very common rule of dating in the Islamic religion is that men and women are not allowed to spend time alone together. This goes for friends or prospective relationships. So, one way that Muslims allow for men and women to spend time together is that they are given a chaperone.
A chaperone is traditionally an adult from either the man or woman's family and they are there to make sure that the potential couple is not tempted in any way. Traditionally, this is true until the man and woman are married. Meaning that even throughout their engagement, the couple is not allowed to be alone together.
2. End game
The idea of casual dating is not taken lightly in traditional Islamic culture. Men and women traditionally meet with the goal of marriage. So touching, flirting and especially sex are not allowed before marriage. This is why couples are not allowed to be alone together until after they are married. The idea is that a responsible adult chaperone will help combat wanting to flirt or act on sexual desires.
Because of the goal being marriage, there is a lot of pressure in traditional Muslim dating because you are not just trying to get to know a potential partner, but rather trying to discover if there is enough compatibility for marriage. This immediately puts a lot of stress on both parties because they are deciding the rest of their lives.
3. Prayer
Muslims traditionally pray 5 times a day. Not everyone is going to follow this rule sternly, but it is important to be respectful of their time and space if they need it.
It is also common for Muslims to pray over their food before they eat. While you don't need to pray along with them, always be respectful of their prayer.
4. Diet
The main dietary restriction for Muslim men and women is meat from a pig. All pork products are considered Haram (forbidden). So, it is important to make sure that they have other options available to them.
Traditional Muslims are a also not allowed to consume alcohol. So, if your date follows this rule please be mindful when taking them out. Also, be sure to carefully plan any meals that you are cooking to not include pork products or alcohol.
5. Dating outside Islam
Traditionally Muslim women are required to marry another Muslim. Muslim men do not have the same restrictions. Although it is generally preferred for men to marry within the Islamic religion it is not forced as harshly as it is for women.
Marrying someone who shares their religion is a very traditional rule. So, if you are dating a Muslim be sure to ask their beliefs regarding marriage. Most likely they won't ask you to convert, but they may also not see a long term future if you don't share their religion. So, it's worth asking when getting to know them exactly how they feel about marrying outside of Islam.
6. Chivalry is alive and well
Yes, chivalry is still huge within the Muslim community. Men are traditionally act very chivalrously toward women who they are dating or looking to marry. So, if you date a Muslim man, you may notice that he opens doors for you or offers to drive when you go out. This is a product of how he was raised.
If you are dating a Muslim woman, then she may want you to act more traditionally chivalrous toward her. Just as men are taught to be chivalrous, Muslim women are taught that this is how men who are interested in dating them will treat them.
7. Premarital sex
According to traditional Islamic values, premarital sex should be avoided at all costs. This is why Muslim women are not allowed to be alone with a man until they are married. But not all Muslim men and women follow this rule strictly.
Beyond premarital sex, Muslims also have some traditions that they follow during sex. One major rule is that any type of sexual act that cannot help conceive a child, like anal or oral sex, are prohibited as the main focus of sex should be to conceive. It is also traditional for a Muslim man to stay in bed and not do anything immediately after sex.
8. What if we are introduced through online dating?
If you meet a Muslim man or woman through online dating, it may be safe to assume that they are less traditional than other Muslims. You'll find that especially in western countries, there are many variations of Islamic rules of dating.
9. Can I ask a Muslim what rules they follow?
The best way to ensure a full understanding of how strictly they follow dating rules is to ask. Most of the time. Muslim men and women have no problem sharing their preferences with you, especially if they are trying to get to know you, as long as you approach them respectfully.
So yes, ask about their rules and customs respectfully. This will ensure that you both have a complete understanding of what is expected moving forward and ultimately what you both want from a potential relationship.
10. How do Muslims date?
Well, the answer depends on how traditional they are. Each individual Muslim is going to make choices for themselves as to what rules they follow. If you have just met a Muslim man or woman and plan a date, then most likely you don't have to worry about chaperones or an arranged marriage.
In a lot of ways Muslims date very similar to how people of other religions do. And the most important part of dating a Muslim to to figure out and be respectful of their traditions. But this doesn't mean that you can't have fun. Relax, enjoy yourself and get to know them like you would any other person that you are dating. The best way to handle any possible doubt or fear is to ask. Muslims count their religion as an important part of their lives, so they will not hesitate to share it with you if they are interested.
These are just a few examples of what to expect when dating a Muslim man or woman. Make sure to ask questions if you aren't sure about where they stand on certain traditions. Asking them first shows that you are interested and intend to be respectful toward those traditions.
Finally, just have fun and take this time to learn something new about someone else's religious beliefs. Just like any other relationship, as long as both parties are communicative of their wants and beliefs, then you'll be familiar with Muslim dating etiquette in no time.