Online Dating Success
Dating Sites: How to be Successful
| Updated February 10, 2021
The search for romance, companionship, and love is nothing new to the human experience. However, with the state of affairs surrounding the pandemic and subsequent economic downturn, traditional dating has taken a series of body blows, leaving online dating the only game in town for many people. While online dating has been on the rise since the advent of the public internet, more and more people are looking to it as a way to meet new people, get dates, and fulfill their hopes of finding long-term and meaningful relationships.
That being the case, many people have questions. They want to know, is online dating safe, are online dating successful, what are the right steps of online dating, what are the keys to online dating success, and more. Here, we will attempt to answer each of these questions and several others. Of course, the most important and immediate concern on this topic is safety. So we will begin there.
Is Online Dating Safe?
Like anything else in life, online dating comes with some risks that you must be aware of, prepare for, and know-how to avoid. While harmful outcomes are rare and very much in the minority, it would be unwise to get into online dating without the clearheaded understanding that many people are not honest, some will try to scam you out of money, and a few might even seek to do bodily harm to those they meet online.
Most dating sites go to some effort to ensure that criminals and dangerous people are not able to gain access to their clients, but no system is perfect. That being the case, you will need to know what to look for to avoid fraud, abuse, and deception.
Spotting a Romance Scammer
In 2018, over 21,000 victims in the US alone reported losing a cumulative $143 million to romance scammers on dating sites. In fact, romance fraud is the most common form of consumer fraud. The good news is that there are definitive signs you can look for that are red flags for online dating con artists.
The way romance fraud works is the criminal will identify a target, someone who is vulnerable for whatever reason. They will build trust with that person, methodically exploiting her or his fears and need for comfort. Then comes the carrot, the fraudster will feign attempts to meet in person, but will always make an excuse to cancel.
The person may say he is in the military and cannot travel freely. The stories are many, but the fraud is always the same. The criminal will slowly convince you that he wants to meet you but cannot, and eventually that he needs money. Many lonely hearts have fallen prey to this scam. They believe they have built a rapport with the scammer, and that the scammer is just as interested in them as they are in him.
He may ask for money to cover a plane ticket, a hospital bill, or some unexpected fee or fine. Whatever it is, do not send money to anyone asking you to. If someone does ask you to send money you can expect this behavior to repeat with ever-increasing amounts requested.
An honest person who is truly interested in you would not ask for money. If someone does, report them to the site administrators.
How to Spot a Fake Profile
The easiest way to spot a dating site scammer is to look up their profile picture on Google image search. First, right-click the image you want to screen. Select "Search Google for image."" Look through the results for any matches. If any matches do come up then you know one thing for certain, the person does not look the way they want you to think they look.
While this is dishonest any way you slice it, using someone else's image and saying it is their own does not necessarily mean they are going to try to scam you out of money or harm you. It could just mean they are insecure about their appearance and want to give themselves a boost.
If you do find a profile-picture-faker, you may decide to give them the benefit of the doubt. If you ask us, it's just a sign that they are essentially dishonest. But it's your call.
Staying Safe on a First Date
Keep in mind that the vast majority of online dating experiences that result in a real-life date are normal at worst. That being the case, it cannot be denied that the need to be mindful of safety issues is of the utmost importance. Fortunately, there are a few simple ways to do that.
1. Only agree to meet in a public place
When you do meet in person, a busy mall is a good place to start. You should only meet in a location where lights and people are close and common. Do not go to his home. Do not go on a picnic in the woods. Your date should understand and respect these precautions. If not, it's best to move on anyway.
2. Don't rely on your date for transportation
This goes for men as well as for women. While rare, there have been cases of both women and men driving their date/victim to a location where criminal cohorts are waiting to assault and rob the victim. You should each use your vehicle and drive separately to and from any agreed-upon meeting spots. If things go well, naturally, you will eventually want to find an answer to the question, "Your place or mine?"" When that time does come, at least wait until you have confidence that you can trust the person.
3. On the first date, keep alcohol consumption light
If you do go with your date to a bar, keep a close eye on your drinks and limit yourself to just one. It can be easy to get caught up in the excitement and overdo it. Don't. Maintain your sobriety, and keep your guard up, within reason, on the first date.
4. Make a paper trail
Before you go on your date, tell someone where you are going, where you expect to be, and when you intend to return. Stick to that tentative schedule on your first date. It's also a good idea to go places where purchases will be made. This creates a trail of evidence as to where you were at specific times.
5. Trust your instincts
If at any point you feel uncomfortable, that's millions of years of instinct working to keep you safe. Listen to that feeling.
6. Consider using a subscription dating site
People who are looking to perpetrate a scam or to do other untoward things tend to avoid sites that require a paid membership to use them. Of course, this is no surefire safeguard, but it can help reduce your chances of having a bad experience – and it's a good way to get better customer service from site staff and admin.
Finally, don't get overwrought with fear. Take precautions to protect yourself, and trust yourself to make safe decisions.
Are People Having Any Success Dating Online?
Dating Sites: How to be Successful
The search for romance, companionship, and love is nothing new to the human experience. However, with the state of affairs surrounding the pandemic and subsequent economic downturn, traditional dating has taken a series of body blows, leaving online dating the only game in town for many people. While online dating has been on the rise since the advent of the public internet, more and more people are looking to it as a way to meet new people, get dates, and fulfill their hopes of finding long-term and meaningful relationships.
That being the case, many people have questions. They want to know, is online dating safe, are online dating successful, what are the right steps of online dating, what are the keys to online dating success, and more. Here, we will attempt to answer each of these questions and several others. Of course, the most important and immediate concern on this topic is safety. So we will begin there.
Is Online Dating Safe?
Like anything else in life, online dating comes with some risks that you must be aware of, prepare for, and know-how to avoid. While harmful outcomes are rare and very much in the minority, it would be unwise to get into online dating without the clearheaded understanding that many people are not honest, some will try to scam you out of money, and a few might even seek to do bodily harm to those they meet online.
Most dating sites go to some effort to ensure that criminals and dangerous people are not able to gain access to their clients, but no system is perfect. That being the case, you will need to know what to look for to avoid fraud, abuse, and deception.
Spotting a Romance Scammer
In 2018, over 21,000 victims in the US alone reported losing a cumulative $143 million to romance scammers on dating sites. In fact, romance fraud is the most common form of consumer fraud. The good news is that there are definitive signs you can look for that are red flags for online dating con artists.
The way romance fraud works is the criminal will identify a target, someone who is vulnerable for whatever reason. They will build trust with that person, methodically exploiting her or his fears and need for comfort. Then comes the carrot, the fraudster will feign attempts to meet in person, but will always make an excuse to cancel.
The person may say he is in the military and cannot travel freely. The stories are many, but the fraud is always the same. The criminal will slowly convince you that he wants to meet you but cannot, and eventually that he needs money. Many lonely hearts have fallen prey to this scam. They believe they have built a rapport with the scammer, and that the scammer is just as interested in them as they are in him.
He may ask for money to cover a plane ticket, a hospital bill, or some unexpected fee or fine. Whatever it is, do not send money to anyone asking you to. If someone does ask you to send money you can expect this behavior to repeat with ever-increasing amounts requested.
An honest person who is truly interested in you would not ask for money. If someone does, report them to the site administrators.
How to Spot a Fake Profile
The easiest way to spot a dating site scammer is to look up their profile picture on Google image search. First, right-click the image you want to screen. Select "Search Google for image."" Look through the results for any matches. If any matches do come up then you know one thing for certain, the person does not look the way they want you to think they look.
While this is dishonest any way you slice it, using someone else's image and saying it is their own does not necessarily mean they are going to try to scam you out of money or harm you. It could just mean they are insecure about their appearance and want to give themselves a boost.
If you do find a profile-picture-faker, you may decide to give them the benefit of the doubt. If you ask us, it's just a sign that they are essentially dishonest. But it's your call.
Staying Safe on a First Date
Keep in mind that the vast majority of online dating experiences that result in a real-life date are normal at worst. That being the case, it cannot be denied that the need to be mindful of safety issues is of the utmost importance. Fortunately, there are a few simple ways to do that:
- 1. Only agree to meet in a public place: When you do meet in person, a busy mall is a good place to start. You should only meet in a location where lights and people are close and common. Do not go to his home. Do not go on a picnic in the woods. Your date should understand and respect these precautions. If not, it's best to move on anyway.
- 2. Don't rely on your date for transportation: This goes for men as well as for women. While rare, there have been cases of both women and men driving their date/victim to a location where criminal cohorts are waiting to assault and rob the victim. You should each use your vehicle and drive separately to and from any agreed-upon meeting spots. If things go well, naturally, you will eventually want to find an answer to the question, "Your place or mine?" When that time does come, at least wait until you have confidence that you can trust the person.
- 3. On the first date, keep alcohol consumption light: If you do go with your date to a bar, keep a close eye on your drinks and limit yourself to just one. It can be easy to get caught up in the excitement and overdo it. Don't. Maintain your sobriety, and keep your guard up, within reason, on the first date.
- 4. Make a paper trail: Before you go on your date, tell someone where you are going, where you expect to be, and when you intend to return. Stick to that tentative schedule on your first date. It's also a good idea to go places where purchases will be made. This creates a trail of evidence as to where you were at specific times.
- 5. Trust your instincts: If at any point you feel uncomfortable, that's millions of years of instinct working to keep you safe. Listen to that feeling.
- 6. Consider using a subscription dating site: People who are looking to perpetrate a scam or to do other untoward things tend to avoid sites that require a paid membership to use them. Of course, this is no surefire safeguard, but it can help reduce your chances of having a bad experience – and it's a good way to get better customer service from site staff and admin.
Finally, don't get overwrought with fear. Take precautions to protect yourself, and trust yourself to make safe decisions.
Are People Having Any Success Dating Online?
Dating is a tough game no matter how you do it. While many people do have great luck with online dating sites, many more do not. However, more than 17% of all marriages over the last ten years started with online dating. That may not sound like much, but it is actually a really high number- and those are just the ones who were surveyed. We expect to see that number go up dramatically, especially if the COVID-19 pandemic does not trail off in 2021.
Another startling finding pollsters have run into is the fact that marriages that began online have a much lower chance of failing in the first year. Why is that? It could have to do with the fact that the initial meeting begins with pure conversation where couples could only communicate via text or phone. These same couples report higher satisfaction with their online dating success compared to conventional dating.
Some of the most popular online dating sites have divorce rates below 5% for customers who got married after meeting on their service. Remember, the national average divorce rate is 50%. That means if you are looking for the best possible chance for a meaningful encounter, using a dating site that uses matching tools and personality metrics to help the breaking the ice process might be your best bet.
In short, the answer to the question is a resounding "yes." However, where the stats and analysis are somewhat vague on these points, we think the best way to get the best chances from using an online dating site is to make honesty your policy. People who use fake profile pictures, lie about their weight, health, height, income, and so on are quite unlikely to attract someone who is really interested in them.
After all, I might be able to convince you that I am Tom Cruise, but that's not going to make our first meeting a happy occasion.
How to Succeed on Dating Sites
The good news is that there are some solid, proven ways to optimize your chances of finding true romance online. Is that a guarantee? Of course, it isn't. But it will improve your luck. Of that, you can be certain. Above all, be honest. Tell the truth about who you are and what you want. Anything else is just uncivilized.
Create a Compelling Profile
Using your best (real) photo, begin building your profile. Choose a user name and a headline that are fun, and that encapsulate your personality. If you are answering questions that partially generate a profile for you, answer them honestly. You may feel the site does not reflect your answers in a way that suits your values, but make honesty a rule anyway. Keep the content of your profile fun and light, but sincere. Make it complete, and concise.
Use Any Available Match-Generating Features Available
If the site offers matchmaking features, use them. After all, some of the biggest and most successful sites use them and they have amazing marriage success rates, as discussed above. Even if the tools are flawed, and they almost certainly will be, they still offer the value of giving you things in common which you can refer to when you first message people you want to communicate with.
How to Browse
Trust your heart when looking through lists of profiles. It's okay to swipe away from images of people to who you're sure you would not be attracted. If you see a profile picture that appeals to you go ahead and look at the person's profile. Give it a good and complete reading. People tend to appreciate being contacted by someone who has taken the time to read their profile. Be funny, if you dare. But most important, keep it light, friendly, and honest.
Message Honestly & Positively
First messages are always a bit iffy. If you message an especially good looking person, understand that they are likely to have MANY messages in their inbox, so don't be offended if they don't get back to you right away. If the person responds well to your message, strike up a conversation. Stay positive, be honest, and retain a level of impartiality. Don't expect anything. Just be gracious and let things happen as they should.
Your First Meeting
If and when you do eventually agree to meet someone, remember the safety rules we laid out earlier on. Have the self-respect to insist on safe dating. If your date is a worth-while person, they will understand and respect that.
In conclusion
Remember that there are differences in what constitutes online dating success for men as opposed to success for women. Be honest with yourself and your potential dates about what you want. If you're just looking for a one-night-stand, say so. Many people are. If there is one rule on how to success in online dating, it's being straightforward about what you're looking for. Time and again, when asking people if they have had any real any success with online dating, the ones that say they have had one thing in common, being forthright about their intentions.
At the end of the day, whatever you are looking for – whether it's marriage or just someone to ride roller coasters with – if you're not honest about your goals, the best you could hope for is to offer your dates an unwelcome surprise. Don't be that guy.