Nowadays with all the self-help books out there, as well as dating blogs and counseling available to couples, one might expect families to work through their problems, but divorce is sometimes inevitable, and in some cultures, it is "socially unacceptable."
Couples are often afraid to speak out about their marital problems and don't consider divorce as a solution, as it is looked down upon by conservative members of the family, the older ones in particular.
In a place where they have arranged marriages, such as Asia, Africa, the Middle East, Latin America and regions of Japan, couples rather keep quiet about such things, as it may be seen as undignified to their families.
More than fifty percent of marriages throughout the world are arranged marriages. It seems that these are actually the most successful relationship, having a divorce rate of only one percent. Would this still be the case for an unhappy couple in an arranged marriage were they to live in a country where divorce is more acceptable?
Such a story regarding an Iranian couple was told by their daughter, Nazanin Rafsanjani. The couple had an arranged marriage but were desperately unhappy together for twenty-seven years. The story tells of how the husband had a bad temper, and the wife didn't really love him. They relocated to the U.S. and were soon divorced.
Her mother felt for the first time in twenty-seven years that she was free. She said she felt so relieved, no more cooking and cleaning all the time meant that a weight had been lifted from her shoulders.
She didn't date and life became more difficult for her and she would often call Nazanin when she was lonely. It seemed that there wasn't anybody to support her. Her friends no longer invited her to their socials, as she was the only single and she felt as though it was only her two daughters whom she was able to count on.
Nazinen said that her father got hold of a copy of the book, Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus. Reading that book changed his life, and he longed for marriage again. His family introduced him to a woman whom he asked to marry within only a few months of their first date.
While this was happening, Nazanin's mother was afraid that she would never find another husband and longed for her husband. She realized that she didn't want to get to know someone new and explain her life to them. Her ex-husband may have been short-tempered, but she missed having him around, someone who knew her well.
What happened next was quite unexpected. The couple surprised the entire family by falling in love and getting married once again. At that stage, both their daughters had grown up and did not expect that to happen. But the second time around, things were different for this couple.
She called him up when he was two weeks away from getting married after they spoke he still wanted to be with her, saying "You still are my wife." She began to weep, and that's when he knew that his love for her had never died.
He wasted no time in breaking off his engagement. The two started off by simply dating, but as soon as her mother let all her feelings out, he agreed to give their marriage another try. So, they married after six months of dating, and not two weeks as they did the first time.
Their daughters were not impressed at all, but soon learned that their parents seemed happy together as they heard their mother tell their father that she loves him for the first time.
As crazy as it sounds, Nazanin now knows that the American dating culture and talking about one's feelings is what saved her parents' marriage.